Kingsmen told a wonderful, absurd story
about a secret, government organization that performs a lot of eye-catching, public behavior and leaves behind a lot of evidence.
You can read my
review of this movie at moviesmartinwolt.blogspot.com.
I wanted, when I wrote that
review, to say a lot about one of the scenes near the end, so much so
that my views on that scene threatened to dominate the entire post.
I decided instead to speak of that scene here. This post, as a result, contains slight
spoilers of the movie Kingsmen the Secret
Service.
The scene in
question: our protagonist, while he races to stop the villain and save
civilization, comes across a princess that said villain locked away in a
dungeon for, really, no damn reason other than to set this scene.
Our hero promises,
through a window in the princess’s door, to rescue her just as soon as he saves
the world. Her response to this person she never before met? “If you save the
world, we do it in my butt.” Yep. You heard me.
After our hero
saves the world, he, sure enough, returns to the princess’s cell with a bottle
of champagne and discovers her inside, hot and ready to go.
The filmmakers
even grant us a generous (though needless, story-wise) view
of her naked, rear-end (plus a hint of her vagina) . . . a parting gift before
the credits roll.
I must confess, before we start this trek, that I:
1) Laughed when
the princess said, “If you save the world, we do it in my butt” and
2) I enjoyed the
sight of her naked just fine. My brain released a nice dose of happy chemicals
into my bloodstream and I smiled.
Why these confessions? Because many male
critics, each with the best of intentions towards towards their quest for
a less objectifying world, speak and write as if they take no
pleasure in shock humor or naked, beautiful women.
Certainly, some
such critics honestly fail to take interest in either of these, but I
believe many overcompensate. It can confuse a guy when he wants to put an end
to objectification but enjoys a woman.
Examples: John
Oliver (whom I respect dearly) on his show Last
Week Tonight, questioned the continued existence of the Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Issue.
You can watch the
clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8QNDRbjong
I admit, I don’t
understand the existence of this magazine in light of the Internet and its
nearly infinite supply of porn (one might even call it infinite when one
considers that “filmmakers” produce it faster than you could ever hope to watch
it).
However, I don’t
buy that this magazine dehumanizes women. I don’t buy that if I enjoy the sight
of a beautiful woman that I in some way oppress or disrespect them.
Many male critics
produce online clips where they post pictures of women in bathing suits and say
“Yuck” to each of them. Seriously. I witnessed this
countless times.
These critics express their disapproval of pictures of half naked women and the (supposed)
subsequent objectification of those women (via a snap judgment fueled on the
subject’s looks) by posting pictures of half-naked women accompanied by their
opinion of them fueled on her looks.
The irony runs thick.
I ran the numbers,
mathematically proved that people could enjoy the female body without
disrespect to the female. The opposite certainly proved true for the
vast majority of human history.
Men disrespected
and dehumanized women for thousands of years without the aid of Hooter calendars, pin-up girls, porn, and
computer-generated, cartoon women with ridiculously “perfect” bodies.
None of these
things possess an agenda. Calendars and swimsuit magazines remain inanimate,
incapable of an opinion. People can,
and often do, choose to use these items to justify bad, objectifying behavior.
People stand
wrong, not the magazines, not the video games, not even those comic books with
the simply silly-looking, female “characters” that spend a lot of time bend
over for no apparent reason.
If you blame bad
behavior on unrealistic images of women, then you seek to treat the symptom,
not the illness.
Saudi Arabia keeps
its female citizenry concealed. Yet this concealment fails miserably to
humanize the Saudi women to their male counterparts.
Perhaps I merely
seek to justify my own “bad behavior,” but if I watch a cute girl dance around
in her underwear on YouTube, I don’t think, Oh,
yeah! Pay her two-thirds what I make and take away her voting rights.
I just feel happy.
I like to feel happy.
I grasp that I
don’t walk in a world where everyone judges me by my looks, and unrealistic
images of Photo-shopped women surround me to create unrealistic expectations
of how I ought to look.
Only the most
homophobic men get uncomfortable when they see a better looking, shirtless guy
on TV or a billboard. Guys don’t live in a woman’s world. They live in a world
with options.
Guys can make
themselves appealing via an interesting and/or high-paying job, a good sense of
humor, sensitivity, physical strength, or a great standup routine.
Guys needn’t feel
uncomfortable surrounded by images of perfect-bodied guys. Perhaps, if we judge
women based on more than their looks, they needn’t feel so uncomfortable
surrounded by images of perfect-bodied women.
A final disclaimer:
I don’t suggest that looks stand meaningless. They don’t. They just fail to
represent the whole person, and no one should feel ashamed for or dehumanized
by their appearance.
I enjoy an active
lifestyle. I want a partner who can not only keep up but leave me to bite her
dust. I find that attractive. I also want to start a family in the next five to ten years.
If a potential
date looks like she spends a lot of time on the sofa, or appears too old to
start a family in five to ten years . . . how horrible should I seem if I continue to the next candidate?
Note that I never
suggested that a “bad” candidate merits anything less than respect as a human
being. She merits that without question.
I will say, though
I shall sound like a thirteen-year-old in the process, that the female body
proves magnificent. I love it. The curves, the softness, the smell.
I want to see the
day where men don’t justify bad behavior based on their own feelings towards
this wonderful work of art. I want men to grasp that this “art” stands as
an actual person.
Perhaps then my
attention, and the attention of my fellow people, will not cause such
discomfort.
The discomfort
proves understandable, after all. Throughout history, women suffer terrible,
traumatic events that begin with a guy’s arousal. Behave guys. Enjoy your Swimsuit Issue, but behave.
Back to Kingsmen and the scene that started this
rant . . .
I would, had the
movie ran this scene in earnest, found it ridiculous, perhaps even offensive.
However, Kingsmen parodied James
Bond, made fun of the absurd suggestion that a kidnapped woman would want to
screw whoever rescued her at the very second of her rescue.
When our hero in Kingsmen found the kidnapped princess,
he asked her, “If I rescue you, will you give me a kiss?” Another parody of
James Bond.
Of course, when
you find someone kidnapped, you don’t debate the sexual rewards you expect in
return for her release.
This scene, in all its previous, straight faced forms, somehow grew
acceptable to audiences who should’ve felt offended,
disgusted.
What kidnap victim
wants to engage in sex after her ordeal?
What sort of
“hero” would negotiate sex (or even a kiss) in exchange for the victim’s
release?
Thanks for reading.
Daughters of Darkwana received a sweet, succinct
review, which you can read here, http://www.thebookeaters.co.uk/daughters-of-darkwana-by-martin-wolt-jr/
Also,
the third book in my series, Diaries of
Darkwana, will hit Kindle just as soon as I find a new cover artist. I have
a few candidates already, thank goodness.
I might likely put my entire novel series on
sale soon to celebrate the last arrival of Diaries
of Darkwana.
I
publish my blogs as follows:
Tuesdays:
A look at the politics of the entertainment world at EntertainmentMicroscope.blogspot.com.
Wednesdays:
An inside look at my novels (such as Daughters of Darkwana, which you can now find on Kindle) at Darkwana.blogspot.com
